🤯🤬🤬Ingrained Intolerance Part II = How To Manipulate Your Environment To Suit You Ep 94

In a follow-up to a popular podcast on success and ingrained intolerance, the host explores the power of intentional labeling and its impact on behavior and relationships. Sharing a Middle Eastern parable and personal anecdotes, the host, Speaker A, distinguishes between manipulative and helpful intentions, emphasizing the positive outcomes of the latter. By recounting the story of Mullah Nasruddin and his own experiences as a treasurer and with vendors, the host illustrates how assigning positive labels to individuals can influence their actions and strengthen partnerships. The discussion also touches on the potential harm of negative self-identification, as seen in AA meetings and diagnoses like ADD, advocating for empowering self-perceptions. Ultimately, the host encourages listeners to harness the positive aspects of labeling to improve interactions and self-image.

• Speaker A discusses the interest generated from a previous podcast about ingrained intolerance and success.
• The current topic shifts from defensive tactics to offensive strategies, specifically manipulating environments.
• Speaker A defines manipulation as having negative intentions for the other party, while helping has positive outcomes.
• Sales is equated to helping, implying that selling should aim to benefit the customer.

"The difference between manipulation and help is intention. If you are manipulating someone... it's where you want someone... to do something that has a negative outcome for them, whereas helping them is getting someone to do something that has a positive outcome for them."

The quote defines the distinction between manipulation and help based on the intention behind the action, with manipulation leading to negative outcomes and help leading to positive outcomes for the other person.

"Sales and helping should be the same thing."

This quote implies that the act of selling should inherently be about helping the customer, rather than manipulating them for one's own benefit.

• A Middle Eastern parable about Mullah Nasruddin is shared, illustrating the concept of influencing behavior.
• The story depicts Mullah Nasruddin's experience with poor service at a restaurant and his counterintuitive tipping response.
• The parable demonstrates how expectations and prior actions can influence future behavior.

"And one of them was Mullah Nasruddin goes to a restaurant... he gets horrible service... And so then he leaves a huge tip for the guy... And then at the very end of this meal, he gives him a terrible tip... 'Well, I tipped you this time for the service I got last time, and last time I give you the tip for the service you gave today.'"

The quote recounts the parable which shows how Mullah Nasruddin's unexpected tipping behavior led to a change in the waiter's service, thereby manipulating the waiter's actions through positive reinforcement.

• Speaker A introduces labeling as a method for manipulating positive behavior.
• Labeling involves affirming a positive attribute to someone, encouraging them to live up to it.
• It is described as a "ninja way" of influencing behavior, particularly in sales.

"I like to use labeling as a great way of manipulating positive behavior... you give someone a positive attribute that you want them to live up to by giving it as an affirmative compliment, as though they have already done it."

The quote explains the concept of labeling, where giving someone a positive label can influence them to act in accordance with that label, serving as a subtle form of manipulation.

• Speaker A shares a personal story about using labeling to collect fraternity dues.
• The story involves Nick Nash, a fraternity member notorious for not paying dues.
• Instead of confronting Nick with negativity, Speaker A uses labeling to encourage payment.

"So an example was when I assumed being treasurer in my little fraternity... And I liked Nick, but he had a reputation for not having paid the last few treasurers... I called him up and I was like, hey, man... I am not going to bother you at all about it because I know that you're a trustworthy guy and you're honest, and so"

This quote is an example of Speaker A applying the labeling technique in a real-life situation, by affirming Nick's trustworthiness and honesty to influence him to pay his fraternity dues.## Positive Labeling and its Impact

• Positive labeling can influence behavior to align with the label.
• People often strive to act in accordance with positive labels given to them.
• In a business context, positive labeling can enhance professional relationships and performance.

"The next day, he showed up at my room with the entire amount for the whole semester paid in full up front because he had a positive label that he did not want to break."

This quote illustrates an example where positive labeling motivated someone to act responsibly and fulfill expectations.

"You don't want to not make that true. And so then you act in accordance with the positive label that someone gave you."

The quote emphasizes the psychological tendency for individuals to live up to positive labels to maintain consistency with others' perceptions.

• Positive labeling can be strategically used to set a precedent in business relationships.
• Complimenting and acknowledging the positive traits of vendors can lead to improved service and professionalism.
• The speaker employs this strategy by praising vendors early in the relationship for traits such as punctuality and professionalism.

"I will go above and beyond in our first few calls saying, you know what I really appreciate about you guys, I just want to say this. You guys are so timely, you're so professional, and you're just buttoned up."

The quote demonstrates how the speaker uses positive reinforcement to encourage vendors to maintain high standards of professionalism and timeliness.

"It goes a long way to show how great of a company you are and how good you are, what you do."

This quote reflects the speaker's approach to reinforcing the positive image of the vendor, which can lead to a virtuous cycle of good performance and service.

• Positive labeling can create a 'flywheel' effect or a virtuous cycle where continued praise reinforces good behavior.
• The speaker likens this to preemptively tipping for good service, as done by Mullen. Asterine, to then receive good service.
• This cycle can be applied to create value discrepancies in business, making high-value offers seem even more appealing.

"You get this flywheel, you get this virtuous cycle of. I keep praising them. I praised them before they did the activity."

The speaker describes the ongoing process of positive reinforcement that perpetuates high-quality performance from vendors.

"It's the same thing. And it's just interesting because it almost works the same thing. Same way within value ladders, right?"

This quote connects the concept of positive labeling with value ladders in business, suggesting that early positive experiences can set the stage for successful high-value transactions.

• Even when individuals are aware of the labeling tactic, it still influences them to act in line with the label.
• The desire to fulfill positive expectations is likened to an innate trait present in everyone.
• Being mindful of the labels others place on us and ensuring they align with our desired identity is crucial.

"So even if Layla decides to just, I love how clean you are, she probably wouldn't say that. I wouldn't believe mean. What you have to say can't be like, crazy unrealistic, you know what I mean?"

The speaker acknowledges that for positive labeling to be effective, it must be somewhat realistic and believable.

"There's just like this little child inside of all of us that wants to fulfill the things that people speak over us, which is why you have to be so mindful of the things that people do speak over you and to make sure that those things are serving you are in aligned with the identity that you want to have."

This quote suggests that the innate desire to live up to expectations is powerful and that we should be selective about the labels we accept to ensure they benefit our self-identity.

• Positive labeling can be used ethically to improve business relationships and outcomes.
• By giving vendors positive attributes, their service quality can improve, which is beneficial for both parties.
• Continual good service leads to sustained business relationships.

"But you can use that as a good person and give people positive attributes that they can live up to that then improve your relationship with them and their ability to serve you right from a vendor standpoint, et cetera."

The speaker advocates using positive labeling as a strategy to enhance service quality from vendors, leading to a mutually beneficial business relationship.

"Like, if they serve us well, we're going to continue to do business with them. It's good for both of us."

This quote highlights the reciprocal nature of positive labeling, where both the business and the vendor benefit from the improved service that results from positive reinforcement.## Podcast Growth and Listener Engagement

• The host emphasizes the importance of listener support for the growth of the podcast.
• They encourage listeners to rate or review the show, suggesting it can be done easily while listening.
• The host believes that word-of-mouth is essential for helping as many entrepreneurs as possible.

"And like I said, the only way that podcast grows through word of mouth and this is you joining hands with me and helping as many entrepreneurs as we possibly can, because no one is coming to save us. It's just us."

The quote highlights the host's view on the importance of community support and collective effort in the growth and success of the podcast, emphasizing the role of listeners in this process.

• The speaker, A, expresses their personal discomfort with the daily affirmations used in AA meetings.
• They argue that affirming oneself as an addict reinforces a negative identity.
• Speaker A suggests that this could perpetuate addiction by not addressing underlying issues.

"And so I think it just further perpetuates this issue, this issue of addiction, because we keep telling ourselves that we're addicted to this thing rather than eventually dealing with all the other things that are the main root of the thing that we're trying to shove down, right?"

This quote conveys Speaker A's belief that the repetition of identifying as an addict in AA meetings may hinder recovery by focusing on the addiction rather than underlying problems.

• Speaker A believes that overcoming addiction requires confronting underlying issues one by one.
• They suggest that acknowledging oneself as an addict every day is counterproductive.
• Speaker A proposes that positive affirmations could be more beneficial in the recovery process.

"And in my opinion, starting every day by saying, hey, I am an addict, is not a good way to do it, because then you couple yourself with that identity, you chain yourself to it."

This quote reflects Speaker A's opinion that daily affirmations of addiction in AA may negatively impact a person's self-identity and hinder the process of overcoming addiction.

• Speaker A discusses the common diagnosis of ADD among entrepreneurs.
• They stress that the perception of ADD as a disorder influences whether it is seen as a positive or negative trait.
• Speaker A shares a personal example of their mother's traumatic experience with an ADD diagnosis.

"Now, it's super common for entrepreneurs to be diagnosed with ADd. You can even name it attention deficit disorder. It's a disorder. They're already giving you something that's bad."

The quote discusses the labeling of ADD as a disorder and suggests that such a label comes with negative connotations that can affect individuals' perceptions of themselves and their condition.## Identity and Perception of Disorders

• The speaker discusses the impact of labeling a trait as a disorder on one's identity.
• Emphasizes that the perception of a disorder is often dictated by the individual's attitude towards it.
• Highlights the contrast between seeing a disorder as crippling versus as a superpower.
• The speaker's mother viewed her disorder as debilitating, which affected her life negatively.
• The speaker, on the other hand, sees the same disorder as an advantage in entrepreneurship.

And she gave all of her power over to her, 100%. And it's one of the lasting stripes that we have in our relationship is that I'm like, you continue to give power to this thing that you've named, right.

The speaker reflects on how his mother surrendered her agency to her disorder, which has caused ongoing tension in their relationship.

But my mother, on the flip side, saw it as a debilitating, crippling disease, and her life has never been the same since.

This quote illustrates the deep impact of the mother's perception of her disorder on her life, emphasizing the negative consequences of such a viewpoint.

• The speaker reframes Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) as a beneficial trait for entrepreneurs.
• Describes periods of hyper-focus and sustained attention as advantages in the entrepreneurial world.
• Contrasts the negative societal connotations of ADD with the positive aspects it can bring to certain individuals.
• Suggests that the entrepreneurial sphere often views traits associated with ADD differently than the general population.

And so to me, that doesn't sound like a disorder at all. That sounds like a superpower.

This quote encapsulates the speaker's perspective of ADD, viewing it as an asset rather than an impairment.

I am someone who tends to be more creative, and so I can jump from thought to thought a little bit more quickly, which allows me to connect dots a little bit more out of the box than most people can, which allows us to innovate at a faster rate, right?

The speaker describes the creative benefits of having ADD, highlighting the ability to think divergently and innovate effectively.

• Discusses the importance of controlling one's environment and the labels one accepts.
• Warns against the dangers of labels that do not serve one's interests.
• Advocates for using labeling positively to influence how others treat you.
• Encourages fostering good relationships by reinforcing positive behavior through complimentary labeling.

Beware of labeling when it's being used against you, when it's being used in ways that do not serve you.

The speaker advises caution with labels, suggesting that one should be aware of the potential negative impact of labels that are not beneficial.

Use labeling in a way that does not manipulate people, but helps them and helps them help you so you can teach them how to treat you by giving them a positive label that's in alignment with how you want to be treated.

This quote offers a strategy for using labeling constructively to shape interactions and relationships in a positive way.

• The speaker encourages those with ADD to reconsider the label and its connotations.
• Suggests renaming ADD to 'entrepreneur personality type' to reflect its positive aspects in business.
• Urges individuals to focus on the times when ADD has been an advantage rather than a hindrance.
• Posits that rethinking ADD as a superpower can transform self-perception and unlock one's potential.

And then maybe, just maybe, the way that you see yourself and how much you can do and what gifts you've been given will change.

The speaker proposes that altering the perception of ADD can lead to a more empowered and positive self-image.

I would just call it entrepreneur personality type, not add, but think about if there's ever been a time where it has had a negative connotation for you.

By suggesting a rebranding of ADD as an 'entrepreneur personality type,' the speaker aims to remove the stigma and highlight the trait's alignment with entrepreneurial success.