TOM HOLLAND Gets Vulnerable About Mental Health & Overcoming Social Anxiety

Tom Holland discusses the challenges of balancing fame and personal life, emphasizing the importance of family and maintaining authenticity. He shares insights on his upbringing, highlighting his parents' supportive roles and the impact of his father's resilience on his own career. Holland reflects on his decision to become sober, the pressures of acting, and his admiration for athletes' mental toughness. He also touches on his love for golf and the importance of being present in nature. Holland aims to inspire others by encouraging openness about mental health and the value of asking for help.

• The speaker discusses feeling addicted to a false version of their life, exacerbated by social media.
• The media often misrepresents personal struggles, painting them in a negative light.
• The speaker expresses frustration with how the press handles stories related to mental health.

"I just felt like I was so addicted to this kind of false version of my life that it was just taking over."

• The speaker acknowledges the negative impact of social media on their perception of reality.

"The thing that really upset me is the Press ran with that... they kind of painted people looking for help in the wrong light."

• The media's portrayal of mental health struggles is criticized for being misleading and harmful.

• The speaker reflects on a supportive family environment where parents were always present.
• The speaker's father, a comedian, managed to shield the family from the volatility of his profession.
• A strong family foundation has inspired the speaker's own aspirations for family life.

"We had this amazing foundation where no matter any time of the day either mom or dad would be at the house."

• The presence of the parents created a sense of security and stability for the speaker.

"Being a comedian is a very, very volatile job... the only version of my dad I ever saw was the happy Dad."

• Despite the challenges of his job, the speaker's father maintained a positive presence at home.

• The speaker has learned resilience from their father, who has navigated career highs and lows.
• The father's ability to brush off criticism and move forward is a key lesson for the speaker.
• The speaker applies this resilience to their own career, particularly in handling negative criticism.

"I think the thing I admire most about my dad is his resilience."

• The speaker admires their father's perseverance and work ethic despite career challenges.

"I think a large part of my feeling towards that has come from my dad being able to do a gig... and just right onto the next one."

• The father's attitude towards setbacks has influenced the speaker's approach to criticism.

• The speaker discusses the importance of focusing on the opinions of those who matter most.
• They emphasize the value of a supportive network of friends and family in dealing with public scrutiny.
• The speaker shares a philosophy on not letting public opinion affect personal well-being.

"I try my best to not let that stuff affect me... I just try to move on and focus on the positives."

• The speaker acknowledges the challenge of public scrutiny but emphasizes resilience and positivity.

"If you have a problem with me, text me... if you don't have my number, you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me."

• The speaker highlights the importance of prioritizing personal relationships over public opinion.

• The speaker advocates for normalizing the act of asking for help when struggling.
• They share personal experiences of proactively managing mental health by stepping back from social media.
• The speaker emphasizes the importance of support systems and the positive impact of seeking help.

"The message of our show is that asking for help should be something that we celebrate."

• The speaker underscores the significance of seeking help as a positive and commendable action.

"I decided to delete my Instagram because I just felt like I was so addicted to this kind of false version of my life."

• The speaker's decision to step back from social media is framed as a proactive mental health measure.

• The speaker discusses being diagnosed with dyslexia and how it primarily affects their spelling.
• They highlight the role of supportive parents in encouraging them to try their best despite academic challenges.
• The speaker shares how they have adapted to overcome the challenges posed by dyslexia in their acting career.

"My dyslexia, it's really just my spelling... I worked really hard at school."

• The speaker acknowledges the challenges of dyslexia but emphasizes hard work and parental support.

"As long as you try your best, then that's all we can ask for."

• The speaker's parents emphasized effort over results, fostering a supportive environment.

• The speaker's acting career began serendipitously through dance, leading to opportunities on the West End.
• They discuss the role of manifesting success and how their career evolved naturally from a hobby.
• The speaker reflects on the importance of passion and opportunity in pursuing an acting career.

"I do believe in manifesting actually... this was never something I wanted."

• The speaker attributes their career success to a combination of manifesting and serendipity.

"I love the creativity... I love the collaboration on set between people from all different walks of life."

• The speaker expresses their passion for acting and the collaborative nature of filmmaking.

• The speaker shares experiences of being bullied for participating in ballet, which later led to success in acting.
• They discuss how resilience developed through these experiences has been applied to their career challenges.
• The speaker emphasizes the importance of perseverance and determination in overcoming adversity.

"I went to a rugby school... the one kid in the school that does ballet."

• The speaker recounts facing bullying due to engaging in ballet, highlighting societal stereotypes.

"There was a point in time where we were talking about do we shut this down... and I dug my heels in."

• The speaker's determination to persevere in challenging situations is rooted in past experiences.

• The speaker reflects on their experiences with rugby and dance, highlighting the discipline and camaraderie in both.
• They discuss the role of sports in providing an outlet for energy and personal growth.
• The speaker shares insights on how sports like boxing can be beneficial for young people.

"Rugby's regimented... when you're a dancer, you're just a dancer."

• The speaker contrasts the structured nature of rugby with the freedom of dance.

"Boxing is such a great release... it will calm you down."

• The speaker advocates for boxing as a positive outlet for energy and stress relief.

• The speaker shares their enjoyment of boxing as a sport and its potential for positive impact.
• They express openness to the trend of YouTubers participating in boxing for entertainment and charity.
• The speaker discusses the potential for innovative storytelling in boxing-related films.

"To be perfectly honest with you, I don't really mind it... I think it's quite fun."

• The speaker is open-minded about the trend of YouTubers participating in boxing.

"I'd love to do a boxing movie... where the fighting is real."

• The speaker is interested in exploring innovative storytelling in boxing films.

• The speaker has a strong affinity for the "Rocky" films, particularly for their nostalgic value and entertainment, despite acknowledging their unrealistic portrayal of boxing.
• Prince Naseem's boxing style is admired for its fluidity and effortless movement, contrasting with other boxers like Canelo.
• The speaker expresses admiration for a boxer named Lenko, particularly for his footwork, which is attributed to his dance training.

"Rocky was my favorite because I'd watch it with my dad, and I struggled between Rocky 3 and Rocky 4 because I loved Mr. T and Ivan Drago."

• The speaker's love for "Rocky" is tied to personal memories with his father and the iconic characters in the films.

"There's a video of him working with the swinging bag, and he is so effortless."

• Prince Naseem's boxing style is highlighted for its grace and ease, making it a source of inspiration for the speaker.

"He is my favorite boxer because of his history, his background in dance."

• Lenko's unique footwork in boxing is attributed to his dance background, which the speaker finds admirable.

• The speaker discusses his journey to sobriety, initially prompted by a challenging dry January, leading to a year and a half without alcohol.
• He highlights the mental and physical health improvements experienced after quitting drinking, such as better sleep and mental clarity.
• The speaker emphasizes the importance of support systems and finding healthy substitutes for alcohol.

"I decided to just give up for January, and all I could think about was having a drink."

• The initial challenge of abstaining from alcohol revealed a potential dependency, prompting further sobriety.

"By the time I had got to June 1st, I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life."

• The speaker experienced significant improvements in well-being after six months of sobriety.

"I've found amazing replacements that are fantastic and really healthy."

• Finding alternatives to alcohol was crucial in maintaining sobriety and improving health.

• The speaker openly acknowledges past alcohol addiction and discusses the social pressures associated with drinking.
• He reflects on the societal acceptance of alcohol and the challenges of maintaining sobriety in social settings.
• The speaker stresses the importance of self-awareness and understanding personal motivations for drinking.

"I was definitely addicted to alcohol, not shy away from that at all."

• The speaker candidly admits to alcohol addiction, emphasizing the importance of recognizing the issue.

"I just changed my mindset. I found really good replacements."

• Changing his mindset and finding alternatives were key strategies in overcoming addiction.

"It's one of those things because it is so socially acceptable, the addiction side of it flies under the radar."

• The speaker highlights the societal normalization of alcohol, which can mask addiction problems.

• The speaker shares insights from his time living as a monk, emphasizing the value of simplicity, meditation, and self-awareness.
• He reflects on the influence of a monk he met at 18, who exemplified true contentment and happiness.
• The experience provided a foundation for personal growth and the development of skills that benefit his current life.

"I met a monk who was the first person I felt was at ease with himself."

• The monk's contentment inspired the speaker to pursue a similar sense of inner peace.

"Anything I'm good at today is because of what I learned during that time."

• The speaker attributes his personal and professional success to the lessons learned during his monk experience.

"I just got so much from it that I honestly believe that anything that I'm good at doing today is because of what I learned during that time."

• The speaker values the enduring impact of his monk training on his life.

• The speaker expresses a deep appreciation for nature and shares experiences from travels to places like Bali and Iceland.
• He describes the awe-inspiring landscapes and the sense of disconnection from modern life that nature provides.
• The speaker is interested in exploring more natural settings and participating in retreats for personal reflection.

"I'm obsessed with nature. It's like one of my biggest passions."

• Nature is a significant source of inspiration and passion for the speaker.

"We went white water rafting, and it almost felt like Jurassic Park."

• The speaker describes the breathtaking beauty of Bali's natural landscapes.

"It was the first time I felt like I'd landed on another planet."

• Iceland's unique landscapes provided a transformative travel experience for the speaker.

• The speaker discusses his decision to take a break from acting, emphasizing the need for personal time and growth.
• He clarifies that the break was not due to the challenges of acting itself but rather a desire for stability and normalcy.
• The speaker values the opportunity to spend time with family and friends and to handle everyday responsibilities.

"I just wanted to take a break. I just wanted to be in one place for a while."

• The break from acting was motivated by a desire for stability and personal time.

"I needed to do a lot of growing up at home, paying my water bill, paying my council tax."

• The speaker highlights the importance of handling everyday responsibilities during his break.

"I'm loving having time off and going back to work is something that isn't really on my radar yet."

• The speaker is enjoying his time off and is not rushing to return to acting.

• Discussion about taking a break from work and how it contributes to personal growth and self-reflection.
• The impact of the writer's strike on work and the opportunity it presents for personal time and introspection.
• The importance of realizing one's natural abilities beyond external influences like alcohol.

"I realized I was like no you're just actually naturally a really social person the alcohol is just an additive to that so get rid of it."

• Understanding personal attributes and the role of external factors in enhancing them.

"I'm hoping that you know the writers can make a deal and will be looked after as they should be because it would be great to get back to work but I'm in no rush I'm really loving some time at home."

• Acknowledging the importance of fair treatment in professional settings and valuing personal downtime.

• Insights into the demanding nature of touring and its impact on personal life and identity.
• Empathy for artists who tour extensively and the understanding of their need for breaks.
• The physical and emotional toll of performing consistently over long periods.

"I can imagine if you've been touring since you were 15 years old which is what a lot of these artists have done... you grow up on the road."

• The challenge of maintaining personal identity and relationships while constantly touring.

"I always could understand why you needed that now I actually have actual empathy for you because now I'm on the road and I can see how displacing it is."

• Developing empathy through personal experience of similar challenges.

• The underestimated difficulty of acting and the emotional depth required for certain roles.
• Different approaches actors take to embody characters, including method acting.
• The importance of separating personal emotions from character emotions to maintain mental health.

"I've always been really good at separating my onset emotions from my personal life emotions."

• Maintaining a healthy boundary between work and personal life to preserve mental well-being.

"Jobs like the crowded room that are particularly taxing getting to those emotions on a daily basis is really difficult and really tiring."

• Acknowledging the emotional demands of intense roles and the resilience required to perform them.

• The experience of living in multiple cities and the process of building a community in a new place.
• The importance of intentionality in creating friendships and a sense of belonging.
• The flexibility of not being tied to one location and the freedom it provides.

"I really like spending time in the states... I just go wherever the wind takes me I guess."

• Embracing a nomadic lifestyle and the opportunities it presents for personal and professional growth.

"I was really intentional about building community and family... it was like an actual process."

• The conscious effort required to establish meaningful relationships in a new environment.

• The inner conflict between following instincts and relying on logical reasoning in decision-making.
• The influence of monk philosophy in understanding different modes of thought and action.
• The balance between emotional intuition and strategic thinking in personal and professional choices.

"I think a lot of the decisions I make in life are very sort of instinctual."

• Trusting one's instincts as a guiding force in decision-making processes.

"We were trained to sense energetically whether things felt like the mode of ignorance mode of passion or mode of goodness."

• Utilizing philosophical frameworks to assess the nature of thoughts and actions.

• The challenge of staying true to oneself amidst the pressures of the entertainment industry.
• The importance of prioritizing personal happiness and relationships over professional demands.
• Strategies for maintaining a grounded and authentic lifestyle despite external influences.

"I've seen so many people come before me and lose themselves... I just am really really Keen to focus on what makes me happy."

• The conscious effort to prioritize personal values and avoid losing oneself in the industry.

"I love the spotlight... I enjoy it while I can and then when it becomes a bit much I kind of become a bit of a recluse."

• Balancing the enjoyment of professional success with the need for personal retreat and reflection.

• The role of personal hobbies and interests, like golf, in maintaining mental health and personal identity.
• The therapeutic and humbling nature of engaging in activities outside of work.
• The connection between personal passions and a sense of self.

"When I'm playing good golf is when I feel most like myself."

• The significance of personal interests in fostering a sense of identity and fulfillment.

"Golf will batter you no matter who you are and I love that's what I love about it."

• The humbling effect of personal challenges and their role in personal growth.

• The speaker participated in a friendly football match at a resort, playing for the England team against Portugal.
• Initially, the match was friendly, but it became intense and competitive as it progressed.
• The speaker contributed to the team's victory with a notable assist.

"By the end, I could not make five paces without my legs cramping up; they are so fit, these football players. It's unbelievable."

• Highlights the physical demands and fitness level required for playing football.

"It was actually a glorious assist as well. I just pinged the ball over the top; my brother made a run, and it bounced, and he managed to get his foot to it and chipped the keeper and scored."

• Describes the speaker's contribution to the game, showcasing teamwork and skill.

• The speaker recounts an impromptu experience of swimming with killer whales in Mexico.
• Despite initial fears, the encounter with the whales was peaceful and humbling.
• The experience left a lasting impression due to the majesty and power of the whales.

"We were on a boat, and we just so happened to see this pod of orcas. Jack, my security guard, thought it'd be a good idea to jump in."

• Illustrates the spontaneous nature of the encounter and the initial decision to engage with the whales.

"As soon as I saw the whale, I wasn't scared anymore because I could just tell that it wasn't going to eat me."

• Reflects on the speaker's intuition and the calming presence of the whale, highlighting a unique connection with nature.

• Nature experiences, like swimming with whales or interacting with gorillas, foster presence and humility.
• Such encounters emphasize the insignificance of humans in the grand scheme of nature.
• Nature's unbiased nature forces individuals to be present and humble.

"Nature makes you present like that, and that's what I love about nature; it's completely unbiased."

• Emphasizes the grounding effect of nature and its ability to bring individuals into the present moment.

"I think for me as well, it's humility... No matter what I do, this whale or gorilla is not going to like or respect me."

• Highlights the humbling effect of interacting with powerful animals and the realization of one's place in the natural world.

• The speaker shares an experience of tracking mountain gorillas in Rwanda.
• The trek involves finding gorillas in their natural habitat, with no guarantees of sightings.
• Interacting with gorillas requires understanding and respecting their behavior.

"We found them in two hours... we just saw them hanging out, kind of like how I'm looking at everyone here."

• Describes the anticipation and eventual sighting of gorillas, capturing the awe of witnessing them in the wild.

"The only thing you can't do is you can't touch their kids... they recommended making a sound that means we come in peace."

• Explains the guidelines for safe interaction with gorillas and the importance of communicating respect.

• The speaker admires athletes for their dedication, skill, and ability to perform under pressure.
• Musicians and comedians are also respected for their ability to captivate and entertain large audiences.
• The speaker finds inspiration in the resilience and achievements of sports figures.

"I tend to let all of my admiration go towards athletes... I'm just so blown away by what they can do under the pressure that they're under."

• Expresses admiration for athletes and their ability to perform in high-pressure situations.

"I love musicians. I see someone like Ed Sheeran, 80,000 people in the palm of his hand."

• Acknowledges the talent and influence of musicians in captivating large audiences.

• Paddle tennis is highlighted as a social and enjoyable sport, offering a balance between competition and fun.
• The speaker expresses a passion for various sports, including tennis, football, and paddle tennis.
• The conversation touches on attempts to recruit famous athletes for personal sports teams.

"Paddle tennis is so social; it's easy to have great rallies, and you still get the satisfaction of really smacking a ball."

• Describes the appeal of paddle tennis as a social and engaging sport.

"I saw him, I'm a mad Tottenham fan, and I just thought, now's my chance."

• Illustrates the speaker's enthusiasm for sports and attempts to engage with famous athletes.

• The speaker admires athletes who overcome setbacks and return stronger, seeing them as true champions.
• The conversation highlights specific athletes and their journeys, including Tyson Fury and Anthony Joshua.
• The speaker values the stories of athletes who regain their status after losing it.

"A champion is someone who had it all, lost it all, and got it right back again."

• Defines true champions as those who overcome adversity and return to greatness.

"I admire him as an athlete, so I save most of my admiration for athletes and musicians."

• Reaffirms admiration for athletes' resilience and determination.

• The speaker discusses the influence of historical figures, like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, on personal development.
• Mentorship can come from studying the lives and works of influential figures, even without direct interaction.
• The conversation emphasizes learning from the decisions and values of past leaders.

"I always say to people who are listening and watching that you can be mentored by people you've never met."

• Encourages learning from historical figures as a form of mentorship.

"I feel mentored by them without ever having sat in the same room as them."

• Highlights the impact of studying influential figures on personal growth and mindset.

• The speaker shares thoughts on player transfers and the potential career trajectories of football players like Harry Kane.
• The conversation includes admiration for players' skills and their potential to thrive in different teams.
• The speaker prioritizes the success and legacy of individual players over team loyalty.

"I just want to see Harry lifting a trophy, and I want to see Son there by him."

• Expresses a desire to see favorite players achieve success and recognition.

"I love Legacy. I love seeing what players can do. I'm less about the teams."

• Emphasizes the importance of individual legacy and achievements in sports.

• The speaker answers rapid-fire questions, sharing personal insights and preferences.
• Topics include the best and worst advice received, daily routines, and current learning pursuits.
• The conversation concludes with reflections on potential laws for societal improvement.

"The best advice you've ever received: to turn your nerves into excitement."

• Shares a piece of advice that emphasizes channeling nervous energy into positive outcomes.

"I really wish there was a Life School... it would set people up."

• Expresses a desire for education that focuses on life skills and emotional intelligence.