Jordan B Peterson: You Need To Listen To Your Wife! We've Built A Lonely & Sexless Society!

Jordan Peterson, a renowned psychology professor, discusses the complexities of modern relationships, individualism, and identity. He argues that living together before marriage can increase the likelihood of divorce and explores the societal shift towards individualism, which he believes is destabilizing foundational values. Peterson emphasizes the importance of a sacrificial relationship with the divine and the need for a hierarchy of identity that encompasses personal, social, and metaphysical levels. He critiques modern liberalism for its shaky foundations and explores the role of religion and traditional stories in guiding human behavior. Additionally, Peterson addresses the detrimental effects of pornography on motivation and relationships, advocating for a life of maximal challenge and truth-seeking as a path to fulfillment.

• Cohabitation before marriage is suggested to increase the likelihood of relationship failure.
• The reasoning behind this is straightforward and discussed as a risk factor for relationships.

"We know the couples have lived together before the marriage actually increases the probability that the relationship will fail."

• This quote highlights the assertion that cohabitation before marriage is linked to higher chances of relationship failure.

• Modern society often views individuals as beings built for consumption and pleasure.
• Activities like pornography are examples of easy gratification with significant negative consequences.
• True life adventure requires elements like love, shame, guilt, desperation, and pain.

"We're built for maximal challenge and that isn't the way we view ourselves in the modern world. We view ourselves as built for consumption and pleasure."

• This quote points out the discrepancy between human potential for challenge and the modern focus on consumption and pleasure.

"It's easy to get what sexual gratification but does it matter? Oh, it's a catastrophe."

• The quote emphasizes the negative impact of easy sexual gratification, labeling it as catastrophic.

• Identity is a hierarchical structure encompassing various social roles and responsibilities.
• The modern liberal experiment in individualism struggles due to a shaky foundational structure.
• Mental health is more dependent on social structure and relationships than internal belief systems.

"Identity is a hierarchical structure so we kind of think that you end at your boundaries as an individual but you don't."

• This quote explains the complexity of identity, which extends beyond individual boundaries to include various social roles.

"Your mental health is way more dependent on your nesting within a social structure than on your say the internal coherence of your belief systems."

• The quote underscores the importance of social connections for mental health over internal belief consistency.

• The Divine is defined as the peak of good, representing the ultimate aim or goal.
• People act towards goals they deem desirable, indicating an implicit understanding of the good.
• The journey towards goals is limitless, with new goals emerging as previous ones are attained.

"The Divine is the good towards which all goods point."

• This quote defines the Divine as the ultimate aim or pinnacle of good.

"The domain of opportunity is limitless right because the thing that's at the pinnacle recedes as you approach it."

• The quote illustrates the endless nature of goal setting and attainment, with new opportunities continually arising.

• Speaking truthfully is emphasized as vital to avoid the rise of evil and personal dissatisfaction.
• Holding one's tongue when having something to say can lead to personal and relational deterioration.
• Strategic considerations are necessary to ensure speaking out does not lead to catastrophic consequences.

"I spent a lot of time studying evil. It arises when good men hold their tongue."

• This quote highlights the dangers of silence in the face of truth, linking it to the rise of evil.

"If you find yourself in a position where you're unable to speak, you haven't fortified your territory properly."

• The quote suggests that an inability to speak freely indicates a lack of strategic preparation.

• Marriages often fail due to unresolved disputes and lack of communication.
• Regular, intentional communication is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship.
• Addressing issues requires a willingness to confront difficult truths and work towards mutual understanding.

"A marriage ends in divorce when there's 10,000 fights that haven't been had."

• This quote points out the accumulation of unresolved disputes as a major factor in marital breakdown.

"You need to sit down and create a space where she or he or whatever can tell you what they've noticed."

• The quote emphasizes the importance of regular, open communication in relationships.

• Relationships, including marriage, involve sacrificial elements where individuals commit to one another.
• Building a desirable self involves offering something valuable to others, rather than seeking the right person.
• The focus should be on self-improvement and contribution to become a desirable partner.

"If you get married, it's a sacrificial offering because you sacrifice your potential relationship with all other women to that woman."

• This quote highlights the sacrificial nature of marriage as committing to one partner.

"The right question is how could I learn to offer something to someone else that would make me eminently desirable."

• The quote shifts the focus from finding the right partner to becoming a person who is desirable to others.

• Focus on building a strong financial foundation, physical strength, and continuous learning.
• These efforts can increase the probability of attracting the kind of people you want in your life.

"You fortified yourself financially... you have a foundation under your feet financially."

• Establishing financial stability is a crucial step in self-improvement.

"I go to the gym so I'm strong physically strong... I've learned a lot."

• Physical strength and personal learning are key components of self-enhancement.

• Personal development can lead to better romantic relationships.
• The idea of dating fewer people but having deeper connections.

"For 10 years I basically focused on myself... I went on a three-day date that I planned in an Excel document."

• The speaker emphasizes long-term self-focus before entering a serious relationship, leading to a successful partnership.

• Use arithmetic to plan and understand life events and relationships.
• Limited opportunities for meaningful relationships underline the importance of preparation.

"How many people do you get to try on in your life? Five if you're lucky... five isn't very many."

• Recognizing the limited chances for deep connections highlights the need for careful planning.

• High-achieving women face unique challenges in balancing career and personal life.
• The societal pressure on women regarding age and family planning.

"If a woman isn't in a relationship family relationship by 30 then it's starting to get pretty damn rough."

• Societal expectations can create pressure on women to prioritize family planning over career advancement.

• Men are often intimidated by successful women, affecting relationship dynamics.
• Women tend to seek partners who can provide additional benefits, leading to higher standards.

"Because a woman will make herself vulnerable when she has a child... her standards for a guy who's going to be helpful get very high."

• Women's need for supportive partners during vulnerable times raises the bar for potential mates.

• Increasing sexlessness and its societal implications.
• Short-term mating strategies lead to distrust and negative outcomes in the dating market.

"In a free and easy mating environment women don't trust men and no wonder."

• Distrust in casual relationships contributes to the decline of committed partnerships.

• Arguments for the benefits of abstaining from sex before marriage.
• The impact of past behaviors on future relationships.

"Couples who live together are more likely to get divorced rather than less."

• Cohabitation before marriage may increase the likelihood of divorce, challenging common beliefs.

• Marriage as a foundation for long-term commitment and family.
• The importance of societal and personal structures in maintaining a marriage.

"Marriage is a signifier of that... you need love and Desperation buddy, you're going to need everything working on your side."

• Marriage provides a stable foundation for enduring life's challenges together.

• Pornography is addictive and detrimental to personal relationships.
• It reduces motivation for real-life relationships and achievements.

"Any 13-year-old boy can now look at more beautiful naked women in one day than the greatest King who ever lived managed in his whole life."

• Easy access to pornography diminishes the drive for real romantic connections.

• Hedonistic pursuits provide short-term gratification but have long-term costs.
• Recognizing the negative impacts of such behaviors is crucial for personal growth.

"Write down what it's doing to you... is that what you want?"

• Self-reflection on the consequences of hedonistic actions can motivate change.

• AI and technology pose new challenges for human relationships.
• The potential for AI to fulfill desires in unhealthy ways.

"With a decent chatbot a really alienated young man can have a better conversation with a decent chatbot than with anybody he's ever talked to."

• AI's capability to simulate relationships may further alienate individuals from real human connections.

• Discussion on the challenge of maintaining novelty in long-term relationships.
• The idea that relationships can become stagnant if not actively maintained.
• The importance of play and novelty in keeping relationships alive and dynamic.

"If you establish the optimized relationship with someone, they're inexhaustible. That doesn't mean novelty isn't important. It's important; that's part of play."

• Optimized relationships can remain engaging through intentional efforts to incorporate novelty and play.

• Examination of hedonistic behaviors and their impact on self-control and long-term goals.
• The struggle between immediate gratification and long-term investment.
• The importance of surrounding oneself with supportive individuals to maintain accountability.

"The battle between immediate gratification and medium to long-term investment, that's a real battle."

• Balancing short-term pleasures with long-term goals is a significant and ongoing challenge.

• The concept of living with an eternal perspective, balancing present enjoyment with long-term considerations.
• The biblical idea of living life more abundantly and harmoniously.
• Comparison to a musical composition where every note has its place.

"The idea of a fruitful Garden, an Earthly Garden of delights, even that's part and parcel of a vision of paradise."

• A balanced life incorporates both present enjoyment and long-term harmony, akin to a well-composed piece of music.

• The importance of maintaining principles and a quest for truth in podcasting.
• The challenge of not judging guests while still exercising discernment.
• The role of curiosity and openness in meaningful discussions.

"You have to have like a certain set of principles that are unnegotiable, but whatever principles you choose and believe in, they come at a great cost."

• Upholding core principles in podcasting requires resilience and can be challenging but is essential for authenticity.

• Differentiating between judgment and condemnation.
• The necessity of using judgment to evaluate information and people.
• Avoiding moral superiority and hypocritical moralizing in interactions.

"You want to use judgment all the time, but that's not to condemn."

• Judgment is necessary for discernment, but it should not lead to condemnation or superiority.

• The significance of religion and traditional stories in providing guidance and meaning.
• The need for collective wisdom beyond individual experience.
• The concept of God as the voice of adventure and transformation.

"God is the voice of Adventure."

• Religion and stories offer a framework for understanding life and guiding personal growth and transformation.

• The relationship between scientific understanding and religious stories.
• The limitations of materialist and reductionist views.
• The idea that stories and scientific hypotheses serve different purposes.

"We see the world through a story; we do not see the world as a collection of facts."

• Stories provide a narrative framework that complements scientific understanding, offering meaning beyond empirical facts.

• The process of building confidence through incremental improvement.
• The importance of setting achievable tasks to foster growth and self-belief.
• The role of self-perception in developing confidence based on competence.

"You watch yourself exceed your limits, and then you think, 'Oh, look at that, there's something in me that can exceed my limits.'"

• Confidence is built through observing personal growth and achieving incremental goals.

• The exploration of where values and meaning originate.
• The challenge of creating personal values versus inheriting them from tradition.
• The role of instinct and divine guidance in shaping values.

"You can't create your own values because values are real; they're not arbitrary."

• Values are derived from a combination of instinctual and divine influences, and are not entirely subjective or self-generated.

• Discussion on the alignment between the instinct for adventure and reproductive success.
• The constraints of social interaction on desirability and how these are embedded in societal and physiological patterns.
• Exploration of whether different species, including humans and dogs, have varying intrinsic natures and gods based on their evolutionary motivations.

"There's an alignment between the instinct that calls you to adventure and the probability that you'll be attractive to women in the manner that ensures the survival of your descendants."

• This quote highlights the evolutionary perspective on human instincts, particularly the drive for adventure and its connection to reproductive success.

"You could think about it as rising up from the material world or descending from on Heaven; it doesn't matter."

• This statement reflects the dual perspectives on evolutionary motivations, whether seen as materialistic or divine, emphasizing their fundamental similarity.

• God is presented as a call to adventure, with divine characteristics reflecting an underlying unity that is incomprehensible in its essence.
• The story of Noah is used to illustrate God as the impulse to prepare for trouble, tying instinct to a wider moral framework.
• The distinction between instinct and divine guidance, emphasizing the necessity of a moral framework to validate instincts.

"In the story of Abraham, God is the Call to Adventure."

• This quote defines God as an adventurous call, aligning divine purpose with human instinct for exploration and growth.

"Noah is described in the story of Noah as a man wise in his Generations."

• This highlights the importance of wisdom and moral standards in aligning instincts with divine guidance for survival and success.

• The Bible is discussed as a narrative reflecting human consciousness and deeper realities beyond individual or societal levels.
• The role of the Bible in understanding evolutionary motivations and the complexities of human psyche, society, and nature.
• The idea that the Bible is not merely a story but a reflection of profound truths about human existence.

"Is the Bible in part the story of human beings coming to Consciousness? Yes."

• This quote affirms the Bible's role in illustrating the evolution of human consciousness and its deeper implications.

"It's a story about the psyche in society in the natural world."

• This statement expands the Bible's narrative to encompass psychological, societal, and natural dimensions, indicating its comprehensive scope.

• Exploration of personal beliefs about God and the complexity of conceptualizing God as the embodiment of the prophet and the laws.
• The relationship between divine concepts and human values, such as voluntary self-sacrifice and courage.
• The impact of personal challenges and suffering on faith and belief in God.

"I think that the claim that Christ is the embodiment of the prophet and the laws, I think that's true."

• This quote expresses a belief in the divine nature of Christ, suggesting a complex understanding of religious teachings.

"Christ takes the sins of the world onto himself so that means all the problems that there are are his problems."

• This highlights the concept of divine responsibility and the embodiment of human struggles in religious narratives.

• The discussion of personal suffering, loss, and faith challenges, emphasizing the role of suffering in personal growth and understanding.
• The idea that life is built for maximal challenge rather than pleasure, with suffering being an integral part of a meaningful life.
• Reflections on the lessons learned from personal hardships and the importance of truth and honesty in overcoming challenges.

"I went through three years where every minute of my life was worse than any minute I had ever had previous to that."

• This quote illustrates the depth of personal suffering experienced and its impact on faith and understanding.

"What are we built for? We're built for maximal Challenge."

• This statement emphasizes the belief that life is designed for overcoming challenges, not merely seeking pleasure.

• The importance of truth in personal and societal contexts, with lies leading to totalitarian states and personal downfall.
• The practice of honesty as a means to align with life, nature, society, and divine principles.
• The potential for life to expand and thrive through the commitment to truth and honesty.

"Hell is the Dominion of the LIE."

• This quote underscores the destructive power of lies in personal and societal contexts.

"Your life just goes like this just opens and opens and opens and opens."

• This reflects the belief that truthfulness leads to personal growth and opportunities.

• The impact of grief and loss on understanding life's priorities and the impermanence of relationships.
• The lessons learned from parental figures and the importance of maintaining relationships and hospitality.
• The role of death in making life and its priorities real, focusing on what truly matters.

"Things last way less long than you think, so you should be aware of that and not take things for granted."

• This quote emphasizes the transient nature of life and the importance of cherishing relationships.

"Death makes things real."

• This statement highlights how the awareness of mortality brings clarity to life's priorities and values.

• The influence of personal relationships on professional identity and navigating external pressures.
• The importance of curiosity and genuine interest in guiding professional endeavors and maintaining authenticity.
• The balance between external expectations and internal principles in personal and professional life.

"You are your wife and your friends and your family."

• This quote illustrates the interconnectedness of personal identity with close relationships and their stabilizing influence.

"I pick people I want to talk to."

• This reflects the importance of personal curiosity and interest in shaping professional choices and maintaining authenticity.